The Tleilaxu Music Machine

Ancient TTMM noise “reviews” and commentary from near the turn of the Millenium
2010/12/01, 20:45
Filed under: Music | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , used to be a fun site which I regularly used for a few years around the turn of the millenium. The premise was that anybody could upload songs which competed in charts (for prizes and exposure I guess, that wasn’t my motivation), but you had to listen to and review a certain number of other people’s songs to participate and get your own reviews & ratings based on listeners’ grading of your music. The songs were presented anonymously and the reviewer was supposed to listen for at least 90 seconds and provide legitimate critique on a variety of elements. The musicians could then rate the quality of the reviews they received and each user was given a grading as a reviewer as well.

It was a pretty active site with a lot of users, many of which were fairly straight-laced so to speak, and I used to get a kick out of putting some..err…more challenging tracks on there, such as harsh noise. It was essentially forcing people to perceive and react to completely abrasive experimentalism since they had to listen and write something to qualify their own music. The results were completely hilarious (to me at least).

Below I present to you the most amusing portions of this experiment in sociological research! There are two sets of comments from two experimental noise tracks. Only one of the tracks is currently available online–the other is more or less obsolete until revised for re-release. The format is::

Title of review
Body of review


Fear Stunts Progress

Extremely powerful, aggressive mix.

#2 Noise
fine on a pure noise level but the snare pattern seemed confusing.

Aphex Twin? Is that you?
This is damn aggressive! It feckin’ rocks! That’s a hell of a lot of drums goin’ on there! Wow! That is some MAD guitar noise! For what it is, this is a proper intense song! I might not play it for my parents and dance around the livingroom, but it’s certainly got it’s own thing goin’ on (if that makes any sense at all). Keep it up – the world needs people like you to keep pushing the envelope. Nice one!

I couldn’t go past the required 90 seconds. This is not music.


Well, I like noise, but only if it is well structured and has a point. Just wanking doesn’t excite me. Well, that’s what I think. You might disagree .CHeers

nice track
nice effect good beat

I don’t usually like ambient noise tracks, but this one is pathetic. If your goal was to cause pain, you’ve succeeded.

now, see here…
…that’s just a bunch of noise…

[mind gone jelly can’t think]
oh boy… I’d love to know how you achieved this! what a trip. the crossing rhythms are way out there this is the sort of stuff I’d like to have for night-time listening…. only instead of 5-and-a-half minutes it would go for hours on end. beautiful, beautiful, beautiful, really well produced I’m very sad that it ends


it never breathes
this sounds like it might be cool – i like the way a beat sort of forms from the noise maybe this shouldnt be so compressed – it never breathes – i am a fan of compression though. 2:12 its sort of lost my interest – although im wondering where it’ll go… hopefully something more solid will come in – if it does this’ll be cool – it doesnt & ive got a headache – im sure you’re find that funny, but i dont – this doesnt work in headphones////////

Waist of time
Seems like I receive alien waves on my AM radio.

OK it would probably be much better on acid

Electrical Madness = obnoxious goodness!!!
I kind of appreciate digital hardcore, but I need a mix of melody to offset the madness. I feel that after you go through the mess, you should feel the sweet release of melody. Your song is just an intentional mess. One out of 2 thumbs.

Turn it down
I don’t like this song. It needs a melody. The beats are too dark. Sorry, it’s just a bunch of noise.

Noise is Wonderful!
Yes! Breaks it wide open! love the ending. Good to hear something creative, nothing to add.

Demons of Attack

pretty good
pretty good

Make way for the annoying king
This song is way too repetitive. It has the same basic sound for the whole song. It is highly annoying

great intro and build up but i don’t like what it builds up to

waste of tape/drive space
No thanks, i’ll just mic up my bathroom the next time I take a dump – there’s more musicality in that. The similarity is that it’s a relief when it’s over though.

i need some PBR now.
this was pretty close to noise, as in experimental. which isn’t what i was expecting.

real annoying but strangely compelling
goddamn that’s terribly annoying, but in a strangly interesting way. reminds me of the performance group srl. check them out at

Headache anyone
Needs to be mixed better. Some of the sounds are kind of irritating

Aural Pain
MY EARS!!!! OWW!! I have to admit, this is one of the most ear-grating tracks I’ve ever heard. I don’t know how to describe it other than aggrivating. Yet, it makes me laugh.

Ouch! I mean, OUCH! Now THAT’s what I call some avant garde noise! It’s too over the top for me, but for Zappa (Frank) fans, it might be just the thing. Not too shabby.

What in the name of God is this?
Rock on dude! This is the worst song i’ve ever heard. Keep it real.

Better luck next time
I didn’t like that one at all! It is not my style, sound fx sound a little like aphex twin, but there is no beat, just a bunch of noise. You should incorporate a bass drum or something. Also, it to repetive,

Falling down the stairs with a guitar…
The guitars are way to heavy and scatchy and repetive. You may want to do some revision but, rememeber that it was just my opinion and someone out there might think this is the juice.

And The Point Is?
No rythm, no tune. Sorry guys, you can’t play and you’re clueless about sampling aswell. Not very encouraging.

The on/off-ness of the introduction reminds me of a horror film, and Korn’s Blind. The continues for another minute while layering some ambience. Ugh, extremely irritating!

Be patient
Although I believe that there is an artistic statement behind your music, it is unfourtunate that not everyone has an ear for your style. You are probably way ahead of us, the listeners just need to catch up. Be patient.

Too Loud
Wow – a little too loud and odd for my electronia tastes.

Hurts my ears
Ouch! This song was incredibly painful to listen to. The heavy guitars are just too much for my ears. I had the volume down on my speakers and it still left my ears aching when the song stopped. I would have put a little less distortion in, and made some chords that resolved themselves, not just bad ones.

Come on feel the noiz!
Ahh yes, finally something so abstract as to grab the attention and senses of a listener, such as myself. Great job guys/girls…reminded me of a nostalgic Sonar track…very great stuff…keep the noise alive!

Sounds like someone changing static channels on the TV while playing video games.

Atari madness
I swear I already reviewed this track, This really reminds me of a guy from SF called “Bran (..) Pos. I like the sounds. it is very hypnotic and avant garde. Cutting soounds I bet this would be really incredible live on a great system. The use of simple components combined is great.

its not scotish
try again

i think this song is too monotonous. it has potential to be a lot better though.

an experiment in sound deconstruction
I really enjoyed your music. It caught me by surprise. What a misleading little tune!

drugs I need
Idont know what kind of drugs I need to get inside this music , but I sure it`s strong

Need a new idea!
WHAT THE?????????????/

makes my knees feel like rubber!!!
loved it!!!!! interesting little diddy

Ok, now this is what I’m taking about. Nice ugly sounds. Nice weird stuff. Nice distortions. nice feedback; Nice ugly. ugly is ugly for about a year; then it becomes cool. you’re on track to doing your thing. Kepp on keeping on, baby!

Make…the hurting…stop…
This song conjured up images of that stupid sound-effects gun I had when I was a kid. I feel like thirty of them are attached to amplifiers and pointed at my head.

Well this song almost blew my speakers it was so loud, got kind repetitive.

video game anyone?
this is not a song at all, it’s just random video game sound effects.

What is this sound?
All I heard was a sound like drums and a drill going off; no music or anything. Then it sounded like it turned to phasers. This is not so good.

Loopy electronix
Intro good but a lil annoying after awhile.

Electro trash, whaw unusual…
Congratulation, You won the oscar of the first electro trash combination, well I never heard a kind of music like that, A bit hard to listen but original.

Wasn’t sure what I was listening to……very repiticious noise samples.

Glad I invested in that optional mute button!
It sure pays off in the short run. I know it did here.

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